They have me ketchin' mih royal
When ah visit de bank dese days,
An' ah gettin' real frustrated
In a number of different ways.
I doh really like to complain,
Far less to appear disloyal,
But dis service dat ah gettin'
Far from what you would call royal!
They have a ting called Farce Service,
And it does live up to the name-
When you use it is like gambling
On some truly frustrating game.
"Unable to contact your branch"
Is a message I fedup get,
At the bank where mih account is-
You tink we really ready yet?
I mean, wid all we pretentions,
I does wonder when we will be
Fit to implement or cope with
This Y2K technology.
24 hours of access
To your funds is what they does say,
But you could bet that this doh mean
Twentyfour hours in one day.
The machines are serviced daily,
And this takes some time, as you know;
All the while your business on hold-
Why they fooling the public so?
They call you valued customer
When they want you take out a loan,
You doh have to visit the bank,
You could do it over the phone.
Though declaring obscene profits
They charge for each service they give,
Put small interest on your savings...
They eh know 'bout live and let live.
The Senior Citizens' Counter
Very often doesn't be manned,
And we have nowhere to sit down,
So the old people have to stand.
'Is half an hour per "patient",'
One old fella turn and declare,
Indifference fuels frustration
When it seems nobody eh care.
"Not Authorised to Give You Cash",
The ATM tell me today,
So ah have to go an' line up,
Because ah have mih bills to pay.
Yesterday was "System Error"
I read on the machine display,
Well now self ah gettin' frighten...
They eh ready for Y2K!!
So ah looking for a mattress
Wid a fireproof compartment
For mih documents and money...
AH CYAR TAKE DIS ROYAL TREATMENT !!
(c)copyright by Gene Wilkes 1999