are an island in the Carib-ian, not Carib-een Sea. We are one
country, not two... And our sister island is To-bay-go, not Tob-baggo.
We drive on the left hand of the road not the right. We have maxi-taxis
not subways, and taxis not cabs. We use hand signals and horns,
not indicators and the finger...... And we fly BeeWee into Piarco,
not Air Canada into Pearson.
Rich people live in West Moorings, not the Bridlepath; poor people
live in Shanty Town, not government housing ........And most of
us who can't afford a house, live in flats not apartments.
Our politicians are just as honest as yours. Our policemen not
cops are just as likely to take bribes or look the other way as
Our doctors are just as likely as yours to be on the golf course
on a Friday or any afternoon ........And if you think your hospitals
and court houses are bad, just check out ours....
We shop for clothes on Frederick Street and Grand Bazaar, not
Yonge Street or the Eaton's Centre. For jewellery, it's Y. deLimas
or Maraj Brothers, not Birks and Peoples. For music, it's Ryner's
and Crosby's, not Sam-the-Record Man or HMV. For groceries, it's
Hi-Lo not Dominion or Loblaws. For fresh meats, fish, fruits and
vegetables, it's the Croisse (Quay-zay) and the Public Market,
not Kensington Market. And we pick up a bottle of rum at the Rum
Shop or the Parlour, not the LCBO.
In your washie kongs, not sneakers, it's off to ABC not Kindergarten;
Common-entrance exams after you finish Standard 1-5, not graduation
after Grade 8 or 9; It's Form 1-5 in government school, convent
or college, not Grade 10-13 in Public or Separate school. And
after GCE, not OAC, most of us go right out to work, not back
Our national spectator sports are cricket and football, not baseball
and hockey. On Saturday night we go to fetes, not parties....at
the tennis courts, not halls. We play all fours, not poker and
dominoes, not backgammon.... And a flag is for waving at a fete,
not flying on a pole.
We celebrate Carnival, Eid and Diwvali, not Caribana, Yom Kippur
and Hannukah. On Carnival days we pass through the Savannah, not
cross the Exhibition Stadium ........To the sounds of soca, not
We go to the beach at Maracas or Las Cuevas, not to the cottage
on Georgian Bay or Lake Simcoe.
And our local TV entertainment comes from TTT, not CTV or CBC.
We have a prime minister and a president and a governor general,
but unlike yours, our prime minister actually speaks English.
We have a Queen of England, but she's in our history books .....and
we had a Miss World and Miss Universe, and had the fastest man
on the earth.
We have the Pitch Lake, not the Rocky Mountains and our neighbouring
country is Venezuela, not Quebec.
We have agoutis and manicou, not beaver and moose; Sharks and
barracuda, not salmon and tuna; Cockroaches and lizards, not black
flies and spiders.. And the common pot hound, not a poodle or
We eat Mopsy, not tea biscuits, and Crix and Dixie not Saltines
and Ritz crackers. Pig's souse and blood pudding, go down much
better than squid and octopus...... And a roti and doubles, beats
a Taco Bell burrito and enchilada. We drink rum, not rye; a beer
is a Carib, not Labatt's Blue; and Babash not moonshine. We have
Ponche a Crème and Sorrel at Christmas, not Apple Cider and Egg
Nog.... And Pan and Pot are not cooking utensils.
Harry Belafonte does not, nor did he ever sing calypso. Our Sparrow
can actually sing. And Kitchener is a kaiso-master, not a city.
There's nothing wrong with being a Gay Desperado. You don't need
cars to have a Traffic Jam. Our Preacher doesn't need a pulpit.
Chinese Laundry is not a Laundromat owned by a chinese man. And
we're glad we don't own a Red Plastic Bag.
Our bad guys are also black, white, red, brown or yellow.....
But our bad girls are skettels not sluts..... Wearing pum-pum
shorts, not cut-offs and wine-ing on a man, not dirty dancing.
We on time when we get there, and we leaving when we ready to
go. And man's best friend is his drinking buddy, his car or his
stereo, not his banker, his dog or his wife.