Surviving Y2K, Trini Style
Imagine a man like me, come dong to dis.....a
man who ent like nothing to do wid machine, much less computer,
have to resort to makin' out ah list to survive dis Y2K ting.
In case all yuh ent hear, let mih tell all yuh. Ah read on de
news dat come nex' New Year's, a lot ah dem computer and dem fancy
electronic gadget goin' to go crazy an' mite even break dong.
Dey say is because de machines an' dem cyar read all dem
I learn in school dat zero is nuttin, so ah cyar understand why
dey worrin' about nuttin'! But since ah ent no expert, ah have
to go wid de flow, so ah mite as well start preparing mih list
to see how ah go survive, jus' in case, 'ketch arse days' come
arong. Dey say dat if computers fail, ah lot ah tings will stop
workin' and ah lot ah factories go have to close dong until dey
fix dem........It mean water, electricity, telephone, bankmachine,
oilrefinery, toute bagaille, goin' to shut dong, unless dey change
some kinda chip in time. Boy, look at mih crosses! How to start
to prepare for dis kinda jangat? Dis is enough to make mih migrane
an' dem come back!
Everybody tackling dis ting different, depending on dey circumstances.
Look at Boysie, from de day he hear 'bout dis ting, he start
to dig a cess-pit. He say dat way, he go have more water to
drink, 'cause he wouldn't have no toilet to flush.Ah nearly
tell he wat he full of.
Derek, living next door to me, say dat he going to dig up he
lawn and flowerbeds and plant ah kitchen garden. Already, he
done build a big cistern to collect all de rain water from de
roof of he house.Now ah fine dat is a good idea if yuh could
Mih odder neigbour Mahase say he buy ah piece ah land in Central,
an' he start to plant ground provision, fig, plantain and vegetable......his
only worry is dat by de time everyting start to bear,
he ent go get nutten because dem Rasta boys go reap up everyting.
So now he bussin' he head to see how he go proteck he place.
Chee Fatt, say he takin' a survival training course, so
if tings get real bad, he goin' to live in de bush. He say dat
in order to blend in wid the scenery, he done start to grow
dreds an' ah beard. Yuh see wat trouble dis ting causin'? Trinidad
go have de fus' Chinee Rasta, all because ah dis Y2K problem!
Mih fren Joe, say seein' dat everyting go close dong, he ent
diggin nutten, he going to stock up on fishin' line and tackle
an' he go fish every day.
Well ah done tink dis ting out real careful. Ah never
did like plantin', neider livin' in de bush, because ah hate
mosquito....and me an' snake ent no fren. Besides, ah
ent have no set ah money to make no big preparation like Derek.
De little bit ah survival skills ah learn in de Boys Scouts
will have to serve mih jus' fine. De onliest ting I see ah could
do, is to stockup on de basics or at leas' try have de basics
wen, 'shit hit de fan.' So ah start to make ah note ah wat basics
ah go need......
WATER- Ah go need water to drink, make tea and juice,
to bathe, to flush de toilet, to wash clothes........ Is a lot
ah water ah go need and is where ah go store more water? Arready
ah have two reserve tank .... besides, it cyar get any worse
dan it is, because it never have water in de water main in any
case. If push come to shove, ah could always go to bathe in
de sea......So ah tink ah good on water, oui!
FOOD- Well dis is mih big item. Ah only hope dis crisis don't
last more dan six months because if dat is de case, ah mite
as well open a grocery an' make some money to boot! Ah doan
really like tin stuff but it look like ah have no choice, because
since it ent go have electricity, ah cyar stock meat except
a lil salt meat for mih peas an' rice......Ah
could stock a lil salt fish too.....dat could keep. Ah have
to stock up on rice, flour, macaroni, dry corn for mih coo-coo,
farine, cocoa, tea, coffee, kool-aid, dry peas(red, lentils,
split, lima and gub-gub) , powderedmilk, cooking oil, ketchup,
salt , sugar (brown and white), seasonin', bakin' powder, lard
and margarine in de tin, clove an' spice, curry powder.........De
ting dat have mih worried is, to find space to store all dis
stuff, an' to tink of all de damm cockroach,weevil an' mice
it go encourage in de house! It mean ah go also have to stock
up on rat bait, rat trap an' cockroach spray too!
FUEL- Ah go need fuel to cook wid and for de car. Maybe
ah wouldn't need to stock up so much for de car, because if
tings get bad and de office close dong, ah wodden have to go
to work, so ah go save on gas dere. Besides, ah could always
fix up mih bike... Ah have to mark dong to get two tires. Also
plenty matches. Some coals jus' in case a run out ah pitch oil.....also
ah have to stock up on some ole wood, in case ah run out of
coals and pitch oil. Some candle and some extra wicks for de
hurricane lamps. Yuh know, it now cross mih mind, seeing dat
ah stocking up on so much inflammable tings, ah should increase
mih fire insurance! Dis ting turning out real expensive, oui!
INCIDENTALS- Ah cyar forget batteries, lots an' all kinda
size, for de boom box, walkman, camera, nintendo, bedroom radio,
cellular and de chil'ren toys....Also toilet paper(two ply)
and plenty! Toothpaste, toilet soap, soap powder to wash clothes,
detergent to wash dishes, cotton balls, iodex, iodine, aspirin,
vicks, plaster and sorf candle.
CASH! Ah have remember to take out plenty cash because dey expecting
de banks to run out of money because dem plastic cards ent go
worth a fart! Which means ah go have to get a lil safe to keep
de cash in..... an' ah battery operated security alarm system
to proteck de safe.....Boy, all ah dis givin' me real stress!
Talking about stress...ah nearly forget, ....... Rum, beers,
whiskey, Coke and two pack a cards, to play All Fours to pass
de time..... While we playin' cards we go need snacks, so ah
have to remember, Corn curls, peanuts and channa........
Well ah tink ah remember everyting, what ah ent have,
ah go just have to do widdout. De onliest concern ah have now
is how long dis ting will las'. If is a short time, ah could
always use out de stock ah have, before cockroach and mice get
to it but if it go longer dan six months........ Den is real
hell! By den everyting go be scarce! And tiefing go start!....Which
means ah have to put on mih list, ah pooyah to proteck mih family
possessions. Ah done plan arready if it last longer
dan six months, ah goin' by mih Tantie in Icacos, 'cause dong
dey, dem still livin' in de Middle Ages so dey ent seeing no
Y2K problem for ah long time!