tabanca - "the forlorn feeling that one gets, when a love affair is over".....Cote ce, Cote la





Surviving Y2K, Trini Style

by Alloy

(c)copyright 1999

Imagine a man like me, come dong to dis.....a man who ent like nothing to do wid machine, much less computer, have to resort to makin' out ah list to survive dis Y2K ting. In case all yuh ent hear, let mih tell all yuh. Ah read on de news dat come nex' New Year's, a lot ah dem computer and dem fancy electronic gadget goin' to go crazy an' mite even break dong. Dey say is because  de machines an' dem cyar read all dem 'zeros'.
I learn in school dat zero is nuttin, so ah cyar understand why dey worrin' about nuttin'! But since ah ent no expert, ah have to go wid de flow, so ah mite as well start preparing mih list to see how ah go survive, jus' in case, 'ketch arse days' come arong. Dey say dat if computers fail, ah lot ah tings will stop workin' and ah lot ah factories go have to close dong until dey fix dem........It mean water, electricity, telephone, bankmachine, oilrefinery, toute bagaille, goin' to shut dong, unless dey change some kinda chip in time. Boy, look at mih crosses! How to start to prepare for dis kinda jangat? Dis is enough to make mih migrane an' dem come back! 

Everybody tackling dis ting different, depending on dey circumstances. Look at Boysie, from de day he hear 'bout dis ting, he start to dig a cess-pit. He say dat way, he go have more water to drink, 'cause  he wouldn't have no toilet to flush.Ah nearly tell he wat he full of.
Derek, living next door to me, say dat he going to dig up he lawn and flowerbeds and plant ah kitchen garden. Already, he done build a big cistern to collect all de rain water from de roof of he house.Now ah fine dat is a good idea if yuh could afford it.

Mih odder neigbour Mahase say he buy ah piece ah land in Central, an' he start to plant ground provision, fig, plantain and vegetable......his only worry is dat by de time  everyting start to bear, he ent go get nutten because dem Rasta boys go reap up everyting. So now he bussin' he head to see how he go proteck he place.

Chee Fatt, say he takin' a survival training course, so  if tings get real bad, he goin' to live in de bush. He say dat  in order to blend in wid the scenery, he done start to grow dreds an' ah beard. Yuh see wat trouble dis ting causin'? Trinidad go have de fus' Chinee Rasta, all because ah dis Y2K problem!

Mih fren Joe, say seein' dat everyting go close dong, he ent diggin nutten, he going to stock up on fishin' line and tackle an' he go fish every day.
 Well ah done tink dis ting out real careful. Ah never did like plantin', neider livin' in de bush, because ah hate mosquito....and me an' snake  ent no fren. Besides, ah ent have no set ah money to make no big preparation like Derek. De little bit ah survival skills ah learn in de Boys Scouts will have to serve mih jus' fine. De onliest ting I see ah could do, is to stockup on de basics or at leas' try have de basics wen, 'shit hit de fan.' So ah start to make ah note ah wat basics ah go need......
 WATER- Ah go need water to drink, make tea and juice, to bathe, to flush de toilet, to wash clothes........ Is a lot ah water ah go need and is where ah go store more water? Arready ah have two reserve tank .... besides, it cyar get any worse dan it is, because it never have water in de water main in any case. If push come to shove, ah could always go to bathe in de sea......So ah tink ah good on water, oui!
FOOD- Well dis is mih big item. Ah only hope dis crisis don't last more dan six months because if dat is de case, ah mite as well open a grocery an' make some money to boot! Ah doan really like tin stuff but it look like ah have no choice, because since it ent go have electricity, ah cyar stock meat except a lil salt meat for mih peas an' rice......Ah
could stock a lil salt fish too.....dat could keep. Ah have to stock up on rice, flour, macaroni, dry corn for mih coo-coo, farine, cocoa, tea, coffee, kool-aid, dry peas(red, lentils, split, lima and gub-gub) , powderedmilk, cooking oil, ketchup, salt , sugar (brown and white), seasonin', bakin' powder, lard and margarine in de tin, clove an' spice, curry powder.........De ting dat have mih worried is, to find space to store all dis stuff, an' to tink of all de damm cockroach,weevil an' mice it go encourage in de house! It mean ah go also have to stock up on rat bait, rat trap an' cockroach spray too!
 FUEL- Ah go need fuel to cook wid and for de car. Maybe ah wouldn't need to stock up so much for de car, because if tings get bad and de office close dong, ah wodden have to go to work, so ah go save on gas dere. Besides, ah could always fix up mih bike... Ah have to mark dong to get two tires. Also plenty matches. Some coals jus' in case a run out ah pitch oil.....also ah have to stock up on some ole wood, in case ah run out of coals and pitch oil. Some candle and some extra wicks for de hurricane lamps. Yuh know, it now cross mih mind, seeing dat ah stocking up on so much inflammable tings, ah should increase mih fire insurance! Dis ting turning out real expensive, oui!  INCIDENTALS- Ah cyar forget batteries, lots an' all kinda size, for de boom box, walkman, camera, nintendo, bedroom radio, cellular and de chil'ren toys....Also toilet paper(two ply) and plenty! Toothpaste, toilet soap, soap powder to wash clothes, detergent to wash dishes, cotton balls, iodex, iodine, aspirin, vicks, plaster and sorf candle.
CASH! Ah have remember to take out plenty cash because dey expecting de banks to run out of money because dem plastic cards ent go worth a fart! Which means ah go have to get a lil safe to keep de cash in..... an' ah battery operated security alarm system to proteck de safe.....Boy, all ah dis givin' me real stress! Talking about stress...ah nearly forget, ....... Rum, beers, whiskey, Coke and two pack a cards, to play All Fours to pass de time..... While we playin' cards we go need snacks, so ah have to remember, Corn curls, peanuts and channa........
 Well ah tink ah remember everyting, what ah ent have, ah go just have to do widdout. De onliest concern ah have now is how long dis ting will las'. If is a short time, ah could always use out de stock ah have, before cockroach and mice get to it but if it go longer dan six months........ Den is real hell! By den everyting go be scarce! And tiefing go start!....Which means ah have to put on mih list, ah pooyah to proteck mih family possessions.   Ah done plan arready if it last longer dan six months, ah goin' by mih Tantie in Icacos, 'cause dong dey, dem still livin' in de Middle Ages so dey ent seeing no Y2K problem for ah long time!

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