hear wen yuh die, after burial,
only big fat women ah goin' to bite!"
Yuh got to come back as some insect or a animal .....
Yes, ah hear wen yuh die, after burial,
Yuh got to come back as some insect or a animal .......
Me ent want to be no sheep or donkey,
No mule, or ape or monkey.
Mih brudder say he want to come back a hog,
Buh de Spoiler say he want
to be a bedbug!
'Cause ah want to bite dem young ladies pardner,
Like ah hotdog or a hamburger,
An' if yuh thin doh be in a fright.....
........ So goes the refrain of the Mighty Spoiler's hit calypso
of the 50's. I have always wondered why Spoiler would have chosen
to reincarnate as a bedbug. Could it be that he knew facts about
the bedbug, that the average man on the street didn't? Biology
was never one of my favourite subjects in college and I grew up
in an era when bugs and insects, even the best of them, were considered
pests, more so -Cimex Lectularius, more commonly referred to as
a 'bedbug.' Some of the attributes of this seemingly inconspicuous
insect would put the human species to shame and most certainly
green with envy. Amongst all kinds of animal sexuality, the bedbug's
is the most amazing!
FACT: The bedbug NEVER stops mating. Males can mate one or more
females more than once a day. Males have been known to have intercourse
over 200 times a day!
FACT: Bedbugs are equipped with a perforating penis with which
a male will puncture a female's body wall and inject his sperm
anywhere, into the head, abdomen, legs, back and even the heart.
This does not affect the female's health nor does she suffer miscarriage.
FACT: A female bedbug may appear to be a virgin with her untouched
vagina, though pregnant, as she would have received 'hits' on
her back or wherever and the spermatozoa is carried in the blood
stream. Most of the male's spermatozoa is destroyed by her immune
system as infectious microbes but the fact that a few hundred
of the spermatozoa survive, is evidence of the sheer quantity
that is produced. The quantity is phenomenal! If males were the
size of humans, they would send 30 litres of sperm at each ejaculation!
Hidden everywhere in her body the sperm
will wait for Spring to converge on the ovary and fertilize it.
FACT: Female bedbugs have multiple vaginas. Through sheer force
of being perforated by indelicate males, females are covered
with scars, evidence of the number of how many males have mated
with her. Bug daughters are born covered with stains on their
backs which are true vaginas linked to the main organ.
FACT: Bedbugs are bi-sexual and engage in bestiality. Males do
not recognise females from a distance and may mate with another
male, a dead female or anything shaped like a bedbug! 50% of their
encounters are homosexual, 20 % are with foreign animals and 30%
FACT: What happens when a male 'perforates' another male? The
sperm survives and searches for ovaries; as none are found they
mix with the host's and is passed on on his next encounter with
FACT: The male of the African specie,' Afrocimex Constrictus'
is born with a secondary vagina on its back, whose only function
is to encourage homosexual mates.
FACT: Some species of bedbugs including the tropical, 'Antochorides
Scolopelliens' are equipped with special sexual atillery. The
sperm is propelled out of the male's body at high speed by special
muscles. When a male sees a female at a distance, he aims his
penis at the vaginal targets located on her back and fires! The
sperm pierces the female's body, which is thinner in these places
and she becomes impregnated.
FACT: Bedbugs must eat to mate. Males that have starved longer
than 2 weeks don't mate and females that have not eaten recently
are not ready for mating.
FACT: Bedbugs have been in existence since Man started living
Now that you have all the facts, do you see why The Mighty Spoiler
wanted to 'come back' a Bedbug?......
to the top